Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Lord Rokesh's LiveJournal:

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Monday, June 16th, 2008
10:26 pm	Just an FYI For those few people who do read my Journal I'm just letting you know I'm going pretty much Friends only so you'll have to be logged in to read my entries. Current Mood: sleepy (1 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
11:50 pm	So yeah..... I need a new job For those who don't know the Disney store was bought back by Disney (they've been owned for 2 years by a company called Hoop). This seemed at first to be good news as we've wanted this for a long time. Disney had all of us fill out paperwork to be hired, and then had us take our photos for our Disney IDs. Then couple days later they told us..... You're being closed. HAHA YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD A JOB! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! But yeah seriously they fucked us over pretty bad. it disappointed us all alot and has made us all pretty bitter. I had to help the guy from the Liquidation company put up the shitty looking signs saying we're being closed for good. Before you all freak out not all Disney stores are closing just about a third of them country wide. However all but one of them in Connecticut are closing. In any case mine is closing and I need a job... so... fuck. I'm not too thrilled at the moment. I did have a very good interview this morning for a really good job. We'll see what comes from it. Also I have an interview at EB Thursday night and I've got a pretty good shot at that job (such as it is). Beyond all that I've been keeping busy working on stuff for the company My friend and I are starting. Anyways I'll talk to you all later. PEACE OUT Y'ALL!!!! Current Mood: MOTHER F#%&!!! (4 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Monday, February 11th, 2008
11:19 pm	Which Doctor Who are you? created with QuizFarm.com You scored as The Fifth Doctor (Peter Davidson) The quiet Fifth Doctor is the one for you. He may not have been so exciting, but his steady calm kept you interested. Maybe you just like cricket. The Fifth Doctor (Peter Davidson) 88% The Sixth Doctor (Colin Baker) 69% The Seventh Doctor (Sylvester McCoy) 69% The Fourth Doctor (Tom Baker) 56% The Ninth Doctor (Christoper Eccleston) 50% The Second Doctor (Patrick Troughton) 44% The Third Doctor (Jon Pertwee) 38% The Eighth Doctor (Paul McGann) 25% The First Doctor (William Hartnell) 13% (Give in to Darkness)
Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
9:34 pm	( Dream House ) (Give in to Darkness)
Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
11:51 pm	So Anyways.... I guess I just dont get online much anymore. Stupid Job... won't pay me if I don't show up. I dunno why ;) lol well other than work I guess I dont have too much of an excuse but I have been busy and I apologize. Right now Dave and I are still working on our game. We're actualy having our next meeting on Friday so I'll let you know where we are after that. Also Jen and I are planning a Halloween party for this year so I'll be sure to tell you all about that as well. Also I've been working on a Halloween Themed set of Magic cards. See a preview after the cut... ( Cool Cards!!! ) Nothing else super exciting to tell. Just been working alot. Current Mood: sleepy (Give in to Darkness)
Tuesday, September 4th, 2007
1:41 am	What's happened to us? Today at work there was a little girl I'd say around 2 years old who was perhaps just the cutest little thing in the universe. She was just like a little living ray of sunshine and Joy, happy and content just to be out with her mom dancing and singing to the music only she can hear. Seeing her, or children like her always brings a little bit of light into my life. I find myself wondering was I ever that happy? How did I loose that? Why is it once upon a time not so long ago I could spend hours just playing with a simple toy like it was the greatest thing I'd ever seen. Not caring it was just a yoyo or just a simple toy soldier. It didn't matter if I had other toys I could play with it in a million ways by itself. Imagin a billion stories for my little friend to experience. Simple joys. Now life is so much heavier. So much less colorful. Even though I still see the simple joys I suppose being an adult means I'll never be able to experience them as I once did. But what troubles me most is that so many people I meet every day cant even see what they've lost. They let so much more color drain out of their world than I have. What causes this? Do we choose it? Is it that we've allowed ourselves to become a culture of self worshiping, convenience addicted, attention whores? Have we sold our souls for the cost of an Ipod? whats even worse is that if I hadn't been wearing my disney store shirt and working in said disney store the mother of that child would probably have called security (or at least walked quickly away) on my just for looking at her daughter and waving. Now why is that? Would she react that way if I were a woman? No of course not. I'm a MAN and somehow our culture had goten it in their head that ever man who smiles and waves at a child is a pervert who wants to rape her. So it seems while I may enjoy children I've been lumped in with the ones who "ENJOY" children simply because I was born a man. Now heres a thought. What if I was a woman who wanted to rape kids? Well sad to say but they exist too and if you only worry about the men staring at your kids then guess what they kindly woman next door who watches them play in the backyard is gonna get them (not that I'm trying to feed your paranoia or anything). I also hate to point out that while on the rare occasion someone does kidnap rape and kill a kid seemingly at random, almost all cases of child rape are committed by someone the victim knows. A friend, a Neighbor, or even yes A FAMILY MEMBER. But all of this is just a symptom of the problem. We as a nation have become complacent. We've grown so used to being "THE GREAT AMERICA" that we can't seem to understand that it all could just as easily slip away from us. Everyone wants someone to blame but they wont look at themselves. Everyone points fingers at the president, or big oil, or Satan for their problems. When in reality Our problems stem from us. We Want everything handed to us on a silver platter but we dont want to know where it comes from, or how it got there. No we want out hands clean of it. We want to be big powerful America, but we don't want to actualy do anything to make that happen. We want to defeat the terrorists, but we arent willing to make the sacrifices that entails. We want a booming economy with jobs for all Americans, but we buy inexpensive cheaply made products produced by virtual slaves in china. We want change, but we allow our own government to sell us out to the highest bidder. Who do we really have to blame for America's failure? Sometimes I wish more than anything I could be child again just for a day. Then at least if we all die in a fiery conflagration of Nuclear fire I will have had one last day of fun with my action figures without all the worries I have now. Well I'm too tired to keep rambling and ranting about this shit. Sleep well y'all! Current Mood: Fucking Tired Current Music: Apparently Showbiz tonight for some dumbass reason (Give in to Darkness)
Friday, July 27th, 2007
5:42 pm	Mother F-word So I havent posted recently with all the cool stuffs I promised about connecticon. I had a computer crash and Hard Drive Failure. I'm back up and running but I havent yet recovered all my data. I've actauly had to resort to sending my HD out to a recovery company to see if they can recover some (or hopefully all) of my data. I do have a few things that werent backed up yet at the time of the crash I cant really afford to loose. We can only hope it all goes well. It will probably cost a few hundred dollars.... hopefully on the low end of a few hundred dollars and not more towards the high end. I guess we'll find out soon. The good thing is it's a good company with a good reputastion that I've used before for clients of mine. So I trust them. Also If they cant fix it or if it's going to be too expensive they'll ship it back to me and charge me nothing. Anyways as for Connecticon I'll post later I'm too busy right this moment. (1 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Sunday, July 15th, 2007
8:06 pm	Back from Connecticon WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *breath* Ok so I'm back from the con. It was really awesome. More news later. Current Mood: hyper (2 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Friday, June 15th, 2007
1:38 am	A Quote... "If I take a lamp and shine it toward the wall, a bright spot will appear on the wall. The lamp is our search for truth... for understanding. Too often, we assume that the light on the wall is God, but the light is not the goal of the search, it is the result of the search. The more intense the search, the brighter the light on the wall. The brighter the light on the wall, the greater the sense of revelation upon seeing it. Similarly, someone who does not search - who does not bring a lantern with him - sees nothing. What we perceive as God is the by-product of our search for God. It may simply be an appreciation of the light... pure and unblemished... not understanding that it comes from us. Sometimes we stand in front of the light and assume that we are the center of the universe - God looks astonishingly like we do - or we turn to look at our shadow and assume that all is darkness. If we allow ourselves to get in the way, we defeat the purpose, which is to use the light of our search to illuminate the wall in all its beauty and in all its flaws; and in so doing, better understand the world around us." ~Citizen G'Kar (Give in to Darkness)
1:25 am	so I'm a year older now... My birthday was June 8th! WEEEEEEE!!!! Mom made me a Yoda Cake ^_^ Quite appropriate as I'm dressing as a Jedi for Conencticon in July. Hopefully i can get some shots of my cake, my lightsaber (once I finish constructing it) and my costume up here soon for you all to swoon over (you know my ultra geekyness makes you all love me ;) hehe). Anyways being serious for a moment I want you all to know I havent sdtoped using Live Journal I've just been exceedingly busy lately with work and Dave and I trying to get the Demo movie for our game finished before Connecticon. Hopefully after connecticon not oly will I have many many Awesom pics to show you all butr I can get back inot the groove of posting again. Now on an entirely different note: DEAR ABBY: Shortly after my wedding, I received a card with a photo in it taken by my husband's aunt. It was of my husband looking at me as I walked down the aisle. No one else had thought to take one like it. We had beautiful formal portraits done, but this is the one I keep on the nightstand so that the expression of love on his face is the first thing that greets me each morning. -- DEBRA IN NORTH ATTLEBORO, MASS. I hope someone thinks to do that at my wedding one day. (1 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Thursday, May 31st, 2007
2:59 am	You are capable of true greatness. This is not a question, a wish, or a hope. This is a simple fact. You are capable of true greatness. You may not see it, others may try to tell you it is not there. But it is there. It is real. It is true and it shines. Do not confuse the spotlight of society with the light of true greatness. True greatness can not be bought, sold, or given to you by others. True greatness comes from within. Decide how you want to live. Decide what is important to you and what you are willing to give up. Life is a series of choices. Which choices are right and which are wrong is up to you. In the end right and wrong are just words, what matters is what you do. You have the greatness within you. You are the greatness. The spark is there within you, shining out even now as you read these words. Everything is exactly as it needs to be in this moment. Here, now, all possibilities are open to you. (7 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Friday, May 25th, 2007
11:53 pm	Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISFP) Your personality type is caring, peaceful, artistic, and calm. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 8% of all women and 6% of all men You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving. How Rare Is Your Personality? (1 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Thursday, May 17th, 2007
10:54 pm	Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz. (2 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Saturday, May 12th, 2007
6:13 pm	"The universe puts us in places where we can learn. They may not be easy places, but always they are right. Wherever we are, whatever we do. It is the right place, and the right time.” —Delenn, "A Distant Star" (1 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
11:02 pm	.......... so I've been gone again. I appoligise for not being around. Between work, helping jen get ready for graduation (and all that comes with that) and working on the game with dave I havent had alot of free time. And what free time I have had has been spent cleaning. But in any case Dave and I are hoping our company website will be going live friday. When it does I'll give you guys a link so you can ooh and ahh over it. ;) Tonight at work was um... "fun". Earlier today the mall was evacuated because of a massive gas leak. Apparently the morons who are building the new target at the mall Severed the main Gas line for the mall. We're actualy really lucky the mall didnt explode. These are the same jackasses that a few weeks back caused a massive sewege backup on the lower level spilling it into all the stores, and a few weeks before that severed the malls water main then pretended they didnt know anything about it and tried to act like they didnt notice the hundreds of gallons of water pouring into their contruction site. Clearly these are top rate contractors. When I got into work thankfully the disaster had been contained and all was wel with the world. However it turns out oyur system didnt download itself last night so it never fully closed out. Which meant our system was still counting yesterdays numbers as part of today. Woopie that was fun let me tell ya! Especialy when ti came time to close and we dont even know if our deposit numbers are right. On top of that when we closed we found out we were missign a check somehwere. Where it went I couldnt tell ya. What I can tell you is we riped apart the registers and everything else we could trying to find it. My hands were covered in grease. It was thrilling really it was. I so can't wait to go in tommarow night and see what hellish consequences todays excitement brings. Anwaays all that fun asside I've been keepin busy lately. Jen and I had out 3 year anniversary of being together on May 4th. :) which makes me a very happy (and amazingly lucky) man. To celebrate we went on a picknik at Old Mine park. After we ate we went on a hike in the woods and I showed her the mines as well as told her about some of the history and probably telling her far too many stories about my adventures there in scouts. But then thats part of why I love her. She never minds listening to me ramble. In other news My Cherry tree is blooming. Though this may be it's last year. It's a sick and dying old tree we may be forced to finnaly chop it down. It's unfortunatly far past it's healthy lifespan already and it's suffered from a more or less uncureable blight for many years. I'll miss her when she's gone. So what else can I say. Um... Jen, Dave, and I are all going to connecticon in July. We're going to be there for all 3 days this year. Dave's girlfriend Aly will be there for Saturday and sunday, and a few other people we know will be there at least some of the days. So it's looking to be a realy good year :) This year we're going to havge flyers on the free stuff table for our Game company, and we're hoping to have some kind of demo available on the site of our game by then (even if it's just a movie). As always I'll keep you all posted on how things are going. Well thats all for now. Love ya all. ~Jim Current Mood: exhausted (2 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Friday, March 30th, 2007
11:26 pm	So yesterday was thrilling... I spent about 12 hours (maybe more like 10 if you facgtor in dinenr and two half hour breaks) in the basement sucking up water, riping up old ornage carpet squares, and on my hands and knees scraping up the black foam adhesive stuff that held the carpet to the floor. MY legs are stiff and achy today it's quite lovely. But the good thing is I got all the carpeting out that was soaked with water from the flooding. Anyways thats all for now. I'll ttyl. (2 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Thursday, March 29th, 2007
2:45 am	I just can't seem to catch a break The fucking basement flooded today. Or I should say Tonight. I went downstairs to do some laundry and watch some futurama while everyone else went to bed. And SUPRISE Guess what? The Basement floor was flooding over with water! HAHAHAHA whata a fucking wonderful thing to find. Especialy because guess whats down there? LEts see the christmas stuff thats kinda worrysome... oh yeah and ALL MY STUFF! FUCKING SUPER! So I went and woke Mom and Frank and we went on a wonderful several hour long adventure to move things stop the flooding and save what we could. (Also In case your wondering the reason it was flooding is the Subpump stoped working.) So far it seems like I havent lost anything important. Justa few little things I really dont care about and prolly would have gotten rid of anyways. But I wont know 100% for sure till I get through with the cleaning and everything else. Mom unfortunatly was crying and terribly upset because we lost a few of the old glass orniments that were her mothers. They got wet and the paint started to pucker and peel off. They're hand painted and thats just what happens with too much moisture. Thankfully she did calm down. And thankfully we only lost a couple of them from the box that got wet. Even more thankfully that box wasnt the box with the over 100 year old glass faces in it. They are quite delicate and the glas is about as thin as paper from age. If they got wet they would just desintigrate. Sadly one day we'll unpack them and they'll be destroyed. We accept that and know they won't last forever. But keeping them sealed alway in some case soemwhere isnt an answer eaither. So we just enjoy them for the time we have them. However if we had lost them today I dont think mom would have delt well. And she's prolly have been pissed at frank as it was his idea to put the ornaments in the basement instead of the garage attic. Anyways While mom salveged ornamints I went to recue the Guitars. Thankfully while they got alittle damp they seem to be alright. My Guitar barealy got damp so thats good. The electircs all seem alright. It's just one of the Accoustics that I'm worried about. It got the wettest. It's never good when any instument gets wet, but it's especialy bad for a guitar. If the water gets to the wood it will warp and possibly crack. Thenkfully it seems alright and the water didnt get too it badly. We wont know for sure for a day or so yet. After we rescued the guitatrs next was to check for damage to the contents of all my boxes of shit I am forced to keep down there since i have no where else to put them. It was a fun process. Thankfully everything seems alright. The boxes that got whet hadnt yet really soaked throgh so the contents were almost completely dry. We hadone scare with a boz of what were apparenly photographs but it turned out they were all safe and dry. So like I said right now eveything seems ok. I was concerned about the moisture though. So even though Franks going to go get the big wetdry shopvac from his mom in the morning and we're going to move the rest of the things and suck up the water tommarow I wanted to move a few things. I moved my stuffed animal collection (even though they are in plastic containers I was concerned about the extream moisture), a few important books that were down there, and my Magic cards. Everything else should either be ok for a few hours or just isnt all that important that I need to worry. So how am I feeling now you might ask? Tired. Way fucking tired. But beyond that I'm just kinda pissed. WHy you ask? Well It may be nothing. But Frank seemed all pissy and annoyed that I had so much stuff down there that had to get moved up and out of the basement. I know he doeant want it all cluttering the house and such. But you know Guess what? HE wanted it moved from upstairs so it had to go somewhere didnt it? And yeah you know I have taken a long time to move it, go through it, pack it better and get it all taken care of. And yes it's just filling the basement being a "fire trap" like he just fucking LOVES to remind me, but you know it's not like I havent been doing anything. He just keeps fucking badgering me about it. Just like he always does. Every few days he mentions it. He just keeps saying things like "It seems to be taking you a long time to get that cleared up." or "So whens that room going ot be done? Cuz thats a really great room down there if it was useable." Fucking passive agressive shit. I really love and care for frank more than I can say. But let me tell you, sometimes (especialy times like now) that man really pisses me off. I spent over a year going out and looking for work almost every day. I would Search the internet, look through the paper, Call places, do whatever I had to in order to find possible jobs. Then I would If neccicary (and it often was) walk there. One day I couldnt get a bus (not that I had money for one) and couldnt aford a cab so I walked 6 hours (about 3 each way) to an interview. I went to hundreds of interviews (all of which went no where till the disney store) all saying "You're great! I'd love to hire you... But...." Yep. Thats how my life went. All the while I would continue to Dust, Clean dishes during the day when time alowed, and yes even work on clearing the spair room and orginizing all the crap I had to put in the basement. Of course to do that I had to wade through all the Shit that dad left in the basement when he left. Thousands upon thousands of papers, Books, computer disks, Old napkins, Plastic wraping from things he bough, old recipts, random notes he hadnt looked at in years even befroe he left. Oh you cant imagin the mind nuimbing joy this brought me as I had to be sure to go through carefully because Dad the wonderful genius that he is would just pile garbage with important things that needed to be kept. Do you know I actualy found an old Blue button up shirt still folded with the plastic band in the neck and the tags on it that he never wore that had been there (according tot he reciept) since sometime in 1996? So After I got at least some of that shit cleaned out of course I had to go through all my own stuff. Which is quite emotionaly draining. MAny things bring back memories both good and bad. It's a long process. Especialy when whever I'm actualy getting somewhere people would say "Oh look theres some room in here. Well people are coming over lets just shove some stuff in here for now" Of copurse For now would turn into Until I went and moved it myself (even if it wasnt mine and I have no idea where it goes) or pressed the issue with mom or frank a hundred times. So yeah almost 2 years of constant job searching along with everything else and still fidning time to actualy see friends (not that I get to do that very often) and have even a few fleeting moments of a life (not that that happens often either). Gee I wonder why iy takes so long to get anything done. And you know I love when frank comes home and says "have you been outside today at all? You really shoudl go out and get some fresh air." Sometimes when he says that I just want to say "Fuck off and go get yourself some fresh air." Or if I get sick liek this last time he'll say "you shoudl go out and get some fresh air." If I'm running a fever and am coughing with some kind of Infection I shoudlnt go out an get "fresh air" when it's fucking below freezing out! And I'm sick of being told to go out and get fresh air or hell any of the thing she says like that when he doesnt even fucking know thing one of what I've been doing all day. Anyways now that I've ranted all that. I really should sleep so I can go back to salvaging the remains of my posessions and what I guess qualifies as my life tommarow morn... oh wait I mean this morning. Goodnight all. I'm fucking exausted. P.S. Rereading this I just want to make one thing clear. I'm not angry with frank or anything. I'm just tired and frustrated. I've had a pretty shitty couple of weeks it seems like and I just really didnt need this tonight. Beyond that I really am tired of the fact I never seem to be doing enough for frank to be happy. not helping enough around the house, not cleaning fast enough. I try to do my part. I truly do. Sometimes I think he just doesnt really see what I'm actualy doing. I think all he sees is that I sleep later than he does and from what he sees when he's home I'm often in my room. What he doesnt seem to realise is often times I have insomnia so I'm up later than him (much later usualy). And sometimes I'll watch tv or talk to people online, but more often than that I'm doing work or even yes cleaning & Orginizing stuff. So that makes me need to sleep till 10 instead of 6 when he gets up. He also never seems to see that During the day when he's usualy at work I'm working. I dont just sit arounf and do nothing the days I dont have to go to work at the DSiney store. I'm Working on the Basement, looking around for a second job, Or Some other equaly important work. In the freetime I do allow myself I'll write, go for walks, or yes even take a nap if I'm tired. And why shouldnt I? He takes naps alot. He'll sit in front of the TV an just Zonk out alot of times. And yeah If I questioned him I'm sure he'd say "well I've been working all day" Of course what he deosnt realise is I have been too he just can't see it. It's not that He's mean or that he is in any way bad to me. It' sjust sometimes I think he views the world in one particular way, and If he's sure of something it's hard to get him to see it any other way. Even if his way isnt quite right. I lvoe Frank. He's a wonderful Man. A great Husband to Mom, A Truly wonderful father (The Kind of Father I want to be), and he's always treated me with respect and love even though he didnt have to. As Much as it may seem strange to some people since he came into my life when I was already mostly grown, In many ways frank has been more of a father to me than my biological father. So Dont misunderstand me in the above rant and think He's being some kind of terrible person. I just needed to rant and get things off much chest so I could sleep. It's only a small thing really. Just with the stress of today and ther last week Something just set me off alittle I guess. Anyways I'm off to sleep for real this time. Love ya all. Night night. Current Mood: Fucking Exhausted Current Music: None (3 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Monday, March 26th, 2007
1:12 am	So Jen got me sick.... We're talking really sick to the point I almost had to go to the hospital. I had a fever of 103 and couldnt seem to get it to go down. But we'll get back to that in a minute. Here's a quick run down of events up till this past week of Jen's spring break. Valentines day was fun back when it happened. I got jen some goodies. A box of chocolate, the Nightmare Before Christmas Denim jacket from work, and a few other things. Also dave and I have been getting alot fo work done on our game. Hopefully our website for the company will go live soon. You can all rest assured I'll post it here when I do so you can ooh and ahh over it ;) Our little Dwarf Hampster Baby Nibbler was very sick after Jen broght him back to her dorm. She thinks she may have gotten him sick because at the same time she apparently had a sinus infection. SBut thankfuly she got herself some antibiotics and she was able to get nibbler to a vet to get him some medicin. Nibbler was starting to get better before she brought him back here for spring break... so now on to Jen's spring break. This past week was just sucktacular let me tell you. It was suposed to be a nice happy week for Jen so she would have some nonstress time away froms school. Instead, well... it wasnt that. She apparenly got me sick from the tail end of her sinus infection. Which ended up with after about a day puting me in bed for about 4 days with a super high (up to 103) fever and unable to do much of anything. which made things... not so fun. On top of that even though nibbler finished his medication and seemed fine he died on tuesday. She cried alot... So did I. She seems to be doing alright right now though. We burried him the next day in the yard. eventualy we'll be getting a stuffed animal baby of nibbler but, it wont ever be the same as having him crawl around in our hand. I miss hearing him run on his wheel, or when I would say "Hi nibble baby daddy loves you! want to come out and play?" and he'd run out and see me and come out to play in his ball or just let me pet him. He was such a good little one. And he loved his mommy so much. I think He always loved and trusted her more than me (she did basicaly raise him from a baby afterall) and thats ok. I know he loved us both. It just makes me so very sad that I'll never get to feed him or (and this may seem silly) feel him nible on my finger again. Anyway... that sadness asside. After I began to feel better we actualy got to have some fun. On thursday we went to Dinosaur State park (here in CT) and I got to show her the footprints and generaly have a good time. We also bought a new baby for our huge family we've built up (we have 91 now including her). Her name is Bubblegun and she's a little blue Dinosaur (a Protoceratops to be specific). After that we also got to go to the milford mall and have some fun there too (I bought a Death Smurf figure and I got Jen a Mummy Smurf figure). So Thursday was fun. Friday we went to the Movies and saw "Reign Over Me". It was a wonderful movie. Dont listen to the critics. In fact thats good advice most of the time. Movie critics are the most cinical and generaly disolusioned people on this earth. I often times think either they want to hate everything or they just don't watch the movie and judge it by the previews... or perhaps they just make it up entirely? Eh whatever the point is "Reign Over Me" is a really beautiful and Moving film that I highly reccomend. I also had a very interesting dream during the week. In the dream Jen Mom and I were all going to go somehwere. I was getting ready and about to join everyone downstairs when the phone rang. I answered it and it was Grandma. Not Grandma Gloria but my moms mom who is deceased. Now as you cam imagin i wasnt expecting to get a call from my dead grandmother. I was more than alittle suprised. I dont remember word for word what was said. But most of the conversation was her asking how things were going (she seemed to know about things in my life that had happened after she passed) and making sure I was ok. She talked alittle about her life in heaven, not alot of specifics but from what I could gather she isnt in a wheelchair in heaven and she has many friends. At one point she asked me what we were doing for easter and I told her not much really just what we usualy do with coloring eggs and having the kids do a hunt and such. She seemed dissapointed we werent going to chuch and said she goes to church in heaven every sunday. I also remember I asked her at one point what (if anything) she eats in heaven and I guess there are rules or something because it seemed like she couldnt talk about it. I also asked her if she heard what I said to her when I visited her grave last. She said she did and she understood. I cried some when she said that and told her I loved her. She said she loved me too. after we had talked for alittle while (though not nearly long enough) she said she had to go and that grandpa had come come. Apparently he had also gotten her a new pair of shoes. I said goodby but I wished she could stay. There was so much more I wanted to ask so mch more I wanted to say. And I wanted more than anything for mom to get a chance to talk to her. It seemed so unfair that I should get to talk to grandma but Mom couldnt. I remember hanging up the phone and just kind of standing there unsure what to do. As I walked out the door to go donwstairs I remember thinking what should I say? Would anyone believe me if I told them Grandma called me on the phone? Then i woke up. When I told Jen about the Dream she said told me (and I think this may be true as well) that she thinks it was real. Maybe it's just easier to call in a dream than in real life. I think thats true, I think the dream realm is alot closer to the otherside than the physical realm. While we were talking and I said I was sad Mommy couldnt talk to Grandma she said maybe She talks to mom in her dreams as well. I dont know if thats true. I should ask her. anyways thats all I have to say really. Jen's back up at school and I had work earlier tonight. Twas super fun. I'm still alittle sick Just coughing and trying to rid myself of chest congestion now. Hopefully the last of my cough will go away in a day or so. Love ya all. Night Night for now. Current Mood: tired (8 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Friday, March 23rd, 2007
10:39 pm	It's all Jen's Fault!!!!! More on this later... Current Mood: silly (1 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)
Wednesday, March 14th, 2007
4:27 pm	Apparently I'm angelic... How evil are you? Anyways I promis I'll post a real post later tonight after work or tommarow morning when I wake up. Alots been hapening so I havent had alot of time to come online and screw around. Jen's been sick, Nibblers been sick, I've been working alot (yay money i guess), Dave and I have been working on our game, I've been cleaning in the basement, and beyond that theres been at lest a half dozen things. So I'm a buzy little bee. Right now I'm off to shower and then go to work. So I'll talk to you all later. *dashes off* (1 Gave In | Give in to Darkness)